Thursday, 13 September 2012

Sunglass Slut, Episode 5: Evil Bizarro McCrazypants

I am a fan of sunglasses that make me look like an Evil McCrazypants, as loyal readers (hahahahahahaha) might remember. I got these after a tip from Dodai over on Jezebel about where to find lookalikes for these Prada Baroque sunglasses (more on those later. LE SIGH <3). They were like $5.99 on a slightly dodgy looking website in LA.

Bizarro Ailsa (Aslia?) is pretty much in love with these. THEY'RE LIKE THE SIZE OF MY WHOLE FACE. AND WAIT TIL YOU SEE THE ARMS.

Bizarro Aslia is also totally cool with not wearing any make up. In photos on the internet. Totally cool. Definitely no nervous panicking here. Totally. Yep.

The weather's patchy today but it was beeautiful on Saturday and so I wore these with some (fake, alas) pearl earrings and a white dress to the farmers' market at my primary school and got lavender shortbread and plum and cinnamon jam. Good trip. (Oh man do I love food.)

This is Katherine, the other famous Hepburn sister. She is also a head, but she actually has a nose, even if it is a bit squashed. These sunglasses make her feel stylish and sassy.

These are their amay-zing arms. Metallic copper. Swirly. Literally pinned into her head. (It's not the first time.) (They're just kind of wide, even for me, and I have a normal person head, not a tiny polystyrene doll head.)

Okay. So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go plot some evil deeds.

Truthfully? I have to write a letter, read some poems (if I can persuade Katherine off the top of the book), send some stern emails, make some salmon and roasted new potatoes. The letter will include Charlie & Lola stickers. Wild life. Wild.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

One Simple Reason Why Jeremy Hunt Should Not Get To Be Health Secretary

And surprisingly, it's not his appalling behaviour over the BSkyB fiasco, or even the fact that he proudly believes that homoeopathy works.

Am I above using embarrassing photos to make fun of somebody awful?
Apparently not. 

It's this little line:

"Jeremy Hunt voted for the abortion time limit to be lowered to 12 weeks against scientific and medical consensus."

Now, there are two parts to this, which make up two reasons, but only one of them is incontrovertible proof that he ought not to be in charge of healthcare.

The first part is "Jeremy Hunt voted for the abortion time limit to be lowered to 12 weeks". If you ask me, no one who is anti-choice or who wants to restrict abortion access even a little bit, let alone halve the current limit, should get to be in charge of anything (abortions for anyone who wants one, I say). But you know, it was a free vote and that's an opinion. The undeniable proof that he is not able to be the Health Minister is the second part:

"against scientific and medical consensus."

Against scientific and medical consensus. That means that this man ignored the advice of medical experts because he valued his own beliefs and preconceptions more highly than facts. Does that sound like a man who you want to be in charge of the NHS? No. His belief in the effectiveness of homoeopathy is another example of ignoring facts and evidence in favour of bolstering his own opinions. 

People who prefer to believe things that are proven untrue than listen to scientific truths and the advice of medical experts should not get to run health services. The End.

Note: I am not particularly anti-Tory. I am pretty unbiased because I do not have a party affiliation, or particularly strong views for or against any of the three main parties at this point. I am disappointed and cynical about all of them. But I am certainly anti-bigotry, anti-regressiveness and anti-ignorance in all their many varied and insidious forms, and this man seems to me like someone who is bigoted, regressive, and wilfully ignorant. Sadly, this seems to be true of very many politicians. Ew.

Sunglass Slut, Episode 4: Tyger, Tyger, Burning Free

Hey, you. You know what's even better than £1 Primark sunglasses?

Ignore my stupid arm. Buy a tripod, Ailsa.
Yes, that is real sunshine.

FREEEEEEE sunglasses. These cool tiger stripy ones came free with Elle one issue, something like four years ago. Why is it that the amount of money you pay for sunglasses is in inverse proportion to the length of time they last before they break or get lost (or someone sits on them)? By that logic, this pair will be hanging around literally forever. Ace.

The stripy-ness and the amber-ness means they actually kind of don't go with a lot of things, which is not a problem you usually have with sunglasses. But I can cope with that. By dressing in traffic cone orange, apparently. Go me?

Audrey has got her sunglasses on, and she is GOING to the beach!

(This is Audrey. I have no imagination. She is a head.)

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

The Ship Garden

Dusk on the day of the first frost, November 2010

Waterfall, Iceland, 2008

The ship garden
houses a colony of winters.
The first day is ending
this morning,
everything was white and sharp.
The blossom of shadows under leaves
prepared to colour the small globe in darkness
to eat away at those hours of work,
damaged hands of water.
Heavy as a body
the silence, blue and cold
like an ocean, misplaced.